I Wonder if They Have Couture in Prison?

           Well I must admit I never thought the first step to Art school would actually be about 30 steps, ending with a Mistaken Identity, a fraud letter from the government, and trying to figure out how to rustle up $20,000 dollars..... Go figure.

So I get this email with the title “Important information from US government” and I almost deleted it because the last time I got an email that sounded like that, I opened it and all it was a busty naked chick wearing American flag panties. Don't you hate that when spam emails turn out to be porn.........yeah......sure you do. Anyway this “Us government” email was the real deal. And uncle Sam doesn't cut any corners on scare tactics. The first sentence read “You are in danger of being investigated for fraud of the US government Financial Assistance program”.......Did you just shit your pants? If you didn't, you're one step ahead of me in the dignity department, because that letter gave me the same feeling I would get when I was a kid. You Know the one when your parents yell your  first, middle, and last name across the room and you just KNOW a spanking is inevitable, yeah that one. So after I read the email I realized I have been married for eight years, but I never legally changed my last name. Now, with that said, I have bought cars, houses, and even signed binding business contracts all under this assumed fraudulent name, with not even so much as a peep from the white house. But as soon as I wanted to borrow some money all of a sudden it's “ Whoa, wait a minute who are you, REALLY”. It's okay all I have to do is print out a bunch of social security documents, fill them out and send them in. Next thing you know I'll legally be the same person I've been for almost a decade. Except for one thing..... my printer is broke! I can't make this stuff up people........ well I'm off to bed now to dream of a day when the government doesn't make getting a student loan more difficult than cloning a baby goat!

If At first You don't succeed.....Yell at Someone

Trouble never sleeps

So.... I just got my fashion media and art school course schedule and my beauty design school agenda. Holy crap! there is so much to do. I keep telling myself, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. and I will, but i'm definitely gonna have to ask old uncle sammy for some money. I'm gonna need a grant or a loan or a 20 spot to hold on to, just till friday!!! hahaha have you ever had any one say that? "Hey lemme hold on to a 20 spot for ya, just till I get my check".... anyway... maybe that's just MY brother. but back to the issue at hand. last night I was trying to read though the description of my classes, and I couldn't get through one paragraph before my kids came storming into my room. my 10 year old was telling me "MOM, I don't have anything to wear to school tomorrow" even though last week I just bought her enough back to school clothes to put a dent in the National Deficit. and my 6 year old was yelling something about "whats this thing on my leg" which I almost ignored until she added "and whats this white stuff coming out of it" EEEK! so after cleaning, medicating and putting a fresh bandaid on what turned out to be a pus filled scab, I then turned my attention to my 10 year old and said "You BETTER have something to wear tomorrow, because I just spent your college money on your wardrobe".
          After a few minutes, I finally got my 2 little, bedazzled, crumb snatchers out of my room. I sat back down and began to re read that first paragraph. all of a sudden I hear a BIG BOOM! I mean this boom shook the walls.... I gave it the standard 3 second pause and listen ( no crying after 3 seconds and I'm in the clear) and nothing... then my 10 year old yells down the hall "SHE'S OKAY!" but then I hear a whispered "Are you okay? I'm sorry.... don't tell mom". Aaaaand once again my nose is out of the school book that is should be buried in and I'm trotting down the hallway to see what in hell is goin' on now. I get to their bed room which is filled with giant boxes because I am in the process of moving my girls into their own individual rooms. I see my youngest daughter on the floor covered in books my 10 year old looks at me with her doe eyes and says "She fell off the book shelf...." my 6 year old chimes in with "She told me to climb up there" which I only faintly heard, because by that point I was half way back up the hallway to my room. At this point if no one is bleeding, broken, or unconscious.....it's all good. they'll be fine!
        So I sat back down on my bed to re- re- read that first paragraph........I got through the first sentence and I hear "MOM the dog just peed in the kitchen" ........Ughhhh this is gonna be a long 10 months. 

.....Here we go

Allll right....so as of right now I'm sitting in my room trying not to suffocate on all the things that await me. it's very much like seeing a huge pot of gold in the middle of a rolling field....no one's around and its all yours for the taking. Every shiny bracelet, necklace, ring and pair of studded pumps, all mine.....if only I can carry that big a$$ pot! I can keep myself very busy with kids and life but I'm going to have to learn how to make time to do what I love. When I start this journey I'm not going to quit.....mostly because the idea of being a beauty school drop out is only cute as a song. In real life, that would be pretty LAME. I'm not sure how all this is going to play out but I'll keep you posted!